Young mothers whose kids are approaching adolescence often want to know how to raise their children or what to expect when their children hit 13. However, no parent can answer that. Ones kids are who they are in spite of who their parent is. Each teenager is also different from the other and they may respond differently to various aspects in life.
The first thing is to debunk the myth that teenagers are angry, sullen creatures who dislike their parents and slam doors. Some do that, but most of them are quite the opposite.
Teenagers are not horrible. They are funny, smooth, eager to please and learn, and up for just about anything. Most teens are generous hearts and need love and recognition desperately. They are quirky, messy and free spirited.
Your son or daughter will be a teenager within no time. There is no one rule for raising teens. However, these are some tips that a parent may find to be successful.
Love them with all you’ve got.
Love everything about your teenager, even the infuriating things. Love teenagers for their intentions and actions. Show them this through deed and word how much you adore them. Love their creased shirts and body-spray-covered selves. You should appreciate their lousy handwriting and cheeks with pimples. These details might seem insignificant, yet they are an amazing, magical process at work. All these imperfections will in the future turn into a responsible, sober adult. Witnessing to such a glorious growth is a privilege.
Your teenager should be viewed as a pleasure, and not as a burden. You will be surprised at how insightful they are. So just love them.
Listen to them and pay attention.
When they walk in through the door after a day at school, you should spare a few minutes. Through this interaction, they may divulge the secrets of their day with you. You should be happy to see them. Put everything aside and listen to them. Make eye contact with them and listen attentively to what they are saying. Make their victories your victories. Be compassionate and remember that going through high school and middle school is not easy. Just listen and don’t lecture or offer advice unless asked for. It makes them feel important and valued.
Agree more than you deny.
Teenagers will always face denial. They will be living in a shaky world with constant reminders of not being good enough or you can’t do that for their entire lives. As a parent, you should be the positive voice in their lives for as long as possible. You should make them believe that they are not limited and they can do anything if they’re willing to work hard enough for it. They should get out of the house feeling invincible.
They seem nasty to you.
Teenagers who seem horrible to you but kind, helpful and respectful to others indicate that they have been well brought up. If they are compassionate and help others do not reprimand them. It may not sound reasonable because they are awful to you. When that happens, you may start wishing you were not their parent and they could were anyone else but your child.
You may have the urge to change everything into a life lesson.
Resist the urge to try to teach them a life lesson in all situations. All they need is advice and remember that they love deeply and are keenly in touch with the others feelings. Sensitive topics such as relationships, sex, drugs and alcohol should be approached with caution. At this stage, they also want to try new things. The best thing is to listen to their stories, laugh with them, and make a mental note to call your own parents, because in spite of what you think, you were the same.
Creating an atmosphere in which your teenagers feel they can be honest and open with you is vital, because they can be amazing liars. Such an environment of trust will help you in raising your teenager into a responsible, father, uncle mother or aunt. Adolescents are all different and all they need is guidance and advice to become better people in the society. However, do not treat your teenager as a small kid anymore, there is a reason why they have grown taller and experiencing a lot of changes.
I am Jim Stevens, an Author of ToysAdvisors. I have two kids, a naughty boy and a very cute baby girl. I always want to make them happy, and I love to share my experience about parenting.