The moment you have a baby you think that things will get better with time and all your children will turn out to be responsible adults. But as soon as the little critters hit the tween and teenage mark, they turn into monsters with a big mouth whose sole purpose it seems is to talk back to you. Whatever rules you have got set for them, somehow they always end up being ignored. It seems that there is a greater external force which is stopping the once lovable child from following whatever you ask them to.
Many teenagers also combine talking back with blackmailing. The worst case scenario is when you end up listening to all those I-hate-you’s and You-don’t-love-me’s time and time again. This, dear parents, needs to be stopped, but with a lot of cautious and mature behavior. Remember, your child does not hate you but is in fact overwhelmed by all the hormonal changes. You are still the boss, and all this talking back needs to be stopped and we are going to tell you just how you can go about doing that.
Stop Responding to Each and Every Thing
So, you told your child to run the dishwasher and you got a whiplash of a lot of words in return – you do not have to respond to that. What happens is that most of the teenagers do end up doing the tasks assigned to them but without having any control on their tongues. The parents, on the other hand, should not let their tongues lose and instead ignore whatever they are saying. Your teenager may not be rational but you are, so talking back to them actually increases the problem. So, stop engaging in repetitive arguments with them and be clear regarding the fact that they have to follow your instructions.
Remember That You are the Parent
Many parents take the “be your child’s friend” thing too seriously. Being their friend is necessary especially when they come and talk to you, but do not forget that you have the real authority here not your teenager. It is also necessary to remember that the teen ages are a hard time for your children, and you have to make this phase easier for them to go through.
Listen to Them
Your child might be talking back to you but you have to listen to him or her to find out what their point of view is. Teenagers might still be kids, yet they are semi adults too who have an opinion which needs to be voiced. So, what you can do is that tell them that they can talk with you and discuss their issues on an allotted time – say from 7 o’ clock in the morning till 7:30. Once they are done with explaining their grievances or why they do not like certain rules established by you, you can then set another half an hour later the same day for explaining to them why you have made those rules. So, if your 14 year old suddenly thinks that it is cool to date a 17 year old, you can explain to her why you think it is wrong and what kind of consequences it may involve. Be firm in your explanation and tell why you simply cannot change your rule for her and will not budge from your decision.
Come with Appropriate Punishments
Being in charge and talking to your teenagers does not mean that they will somehow turn into angels. They will still make your life miserable and will go around breaking the rules. So they should not be let go without paying the consequences. However, the punishment should be age appropriate. You cannot give a teenager a time out or stop him or her from eating their favorite ice cream as these things do not work for them. Many moms who have been through this phase say that it is taking away their favorite stuff which works as the best form of punishment. Grounding them, taking away their phone, iPads, Xbox, PSP and TV, if they have a separate one for their room, are an effective form of punishment. So, if your young one has not got consistent good grades in their tests, then these punishments are going to work the best in such a case.
Focus on Them
We know that you parents also lead a very hectic life. You have got a lot of obligations – you have to work, pay bills, socialize and save enough money for the rainy days. But, this does not mean that when your child comes to talk to you, you do not listen to her. If your teenager wants to discuss something with you, you should give your full attention to her, no matter how important task you are performing at the moment. If your teenager is involving you in some discussion, it means that your opinion is valued by them. It is at such moments that a firm bond is formed between you and your child. Listen to them and give your input in a friendly manner.
Have a Family Night
Having a family night, once a week, is very important. You can make it a great bonding experience by involving everyone from your house. You can let your teenager cook his or her favorite dish at this time, or you can cook one for them. There should not be any texting the friends involved. Make sure that you also put away your cell phone. You can utilize the Xbox by playing video games with your teenager and dancing with them to their favorite songs.
Remember that parenting is hard. You have to take a lot of decisions which may seem cruel at the moment. However, you also have to budge on certain occasions when you know that going by your teenager’s rules is not going to harm them. Be your child’s friend but let them know that you are the boss. Soon, you will sail through this phase, the talking back will end and your teenager will grow up.
I am James David, A student of Medical Science. I have been experimenting the use of different
medical products since 4 years and have enough knowledge on a lot of medical tools. I share
my reviews on Top10bestlist.com