February 21, 2017

Living The Stone Aged Culture? Stop The Midden – Clean Your House

New to house cleaning? Perhaps you’ve just moved or are planning to move out of your parent’s house and need to work out what you need. You’ve no doubt seen, and have a picture of the ideal, dream house (in terms of cleanliness) that you would like to live in. Perhaps you have also seen various horror houses on TV shows or maybe in real life. This article is here to provide a little insight into how you can avoid being the occupant of a horror house, and shift more along the spectrum of cleanliness to having a lovely, sparkling, dream house.

The Basic Cleaning

One of the most fundamental features of any domicile, we need a space to dispose of our waste. From an archaeological perspective, there has always been great interest in kitchen middens; we see evidence of this in ruins that were left behind by stone-age cultures. These are essentially a collection of food scraps, bones, shells, excrement and other forms of detritus that decompose then solidify to form a deposit in the earth, and that may become many metres high. The midden forms a time capsule of stone-age lifestyle. Archaeologists and anthropologists are extremely interested in finding kitchen middens, so the various accumulated layers can be examined to gain insight on the diet and lifestyle of our ancestors.

What we’re trying to say here is that the inside or immediate outside of your house is not the place for a midden to form. We’ve centralised our midden and moved it far away from our places of dwelling. It’s called a landfill. We’ve developed indoor bins, bin liners, outdoor bins, garbage trucks and roads to streamline the process of moving our waste to a landfill. From your own perspective of fitting in with this solution, your major requirement will be to put rubbish into a lined bin, then when this liner/bin combination becomes full, transfer the liner containing the rubbish to an outdoor bin. Replace the liner, and repeat this rubbish removal process as required. The outdoor bin then should be collected by a local government service; typically this happens weekly or fortnightly. They may require you to place the bin in a convenient location for them to empty it. Do this. Be sure to follow these basic processes or it won’t be handsome, hat-wearing archaeologists visiting your home – it will be police and government officials.

Advanced Cleaning

Now that we’ve covered some of the cleaning tasks in the home that are required to keep you out of prisons and the judicial system, we can move on to the advanced section. This will help us to be accepted by the more genteel elements of society, which will no doubt work to our advantage.

The first step is to understand, that with the exception of certain species of animals that are kept as pets, it is generally frowned upon by society for you to co-exist with other forms of life (not from your species). These include but are not limited to:
1.Vermin (rats and mice)

2.Insect life that may take up residence in your home (cockroaches, flies, beetles and their associated larvae)

3.Odour-releasing bacteria

They key thing to remember here is that these creatures will not thrive in your house if there are no food sources. So, first thing to do is to use brooms, cloths, mops and the like according to manufacturer’s direction in order to remove bits of food that may attract vermin. Furthermore to this, we need to appreciate that not all food sources can be clearly seen with the naked eye. Microscopic creatures and detritus can form the beginning of a food chain that will allow bacteria to survive in your home, including potentially the undesirable odour-releasing types. The simple solution is to apply compounds that are toxic to these creatures to all surfaces of the house (especially the hard surfaces). We use a mop, sponge and some form of disinfectant mixed with water to achieve a clean, and odour free household. Fabric surfaces we cannot easily disinfect, we run a vacuum across these occasionally, and hope for the best when it comes to germs living there.

So, there we have it, an outline of both basic and advanced cleaning for your consideration. To summarise:
1.Basic: Ensure effective removal of wastes to government designated areas (ie. Landfills)

2.Advanced: Removal of non-human, non-pet life forms in your living area.

Follow these steps and enjoy the benefits of social acceptance and a healthier, longer life.


This lighter side of house cleaning tactics brought to you by Housework Heroes, leading providers of House Cleaning Perth domestic services. For something a little more serious, check out this – Cleaning Or Replacing Your Carpets? Make The Healthy Decision.

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